Penumbra
This is being written~ Patience pleeasee 1 She smiled, the way any young child would. Excited with the world, laughing with wide eyes. Everything was an adventure. She was tiny, a small speck on the world, and little did she know that she would bear a great load on her shoulders. She held her mothers hand, skipping through the airport with a bottle of Coca-cola in her grip. Her mother smiled back, laughing, pointing at the doors out of the airport and into the streets of Alaska. "We're here!" She smiled, wrapping the scarf around her neck again. Her father eagerly awaited at the opposite road with a black Corvette parked. Their eyes met, full of love and passion. The young girl and her mother raced across the road to meet the man with glasses and a combover. "There you guys are!" The child let go of her mothers hand, and jumped to her daddy with open arms. "Ah, my little princess!" He spun her, hugging her as tight as he could. The snow dropped on their faces as the two adults either side of her smiled. "It's good to be home." Snowflakes dropped to the floor as they opened the doors and the car began to drive away with the windscreen wipers on. It was a short, ten mile drive to the snowy chalet nestled near the coast. They got out, and into the house. It was warm, entirely made of wood, with an open story going from the ground floor up to reveal the roof. It was the perfect get-away cabin transformed into a home. The family enjoyed their first night together again, and they all fell asleep downstairs. The days melted into nights, and there morphed into weeks, months. When the child finally turned 8, the problems began. Her mother grew critically ill and required hospitalization, and her father grew weak with stress and anger at himself. His relationship with her mother dissolved and their disolution was merely a penubrature to the behemeth that overhung the girl. It was just the opening to a much more serious play. In mid-July, the hospital bills grew and grew, and private education cost too much to allow for the bills and so Anastasia had to move back in with her husband a young girl. Anastasia required around-the-clock care by now, and whilst their 'little princess' was away studying in New York, her father was forced to quit formal work and work from home, all while the bills were piling. Anastasia passed away on the evening of November, leaving behind thousands of dollars from a closed bank account held off-shore, and a family wrought with grief. It was that snowy December that the girl was took from school and put back into her house. With her father arranging for education in England to avoid more debt charges, the girl had no idea where she was being flung. It was at that moment that she thought she was unwanted, un-essential to the order of things. She began to become more and more isolated and introverted, with no appetite for anything. She threw herself into an online world where she wrote, and kept her true emotions hidden. In the Summer, she was flown to England. Her father didn't seem to care. She arrived there in August-time, not prepared for anything life was hitting her with. Whilst everyone around her seemed happy, nobody noticed the sad, small girl. "Welcome!" Her auntie and uncle bellowed, offering her the drink. She accepted, smiling slightly. For the first few weeks that she was in England, she attempted to be pleasant, attempted to make friends. Though her efforts were weak, they paid off until she went to private school. She felt like she was abandoned again, all alone in another new place. And the people she met were the worst influence on her. She was made to feel weak, ugly, stupid. When she arrived at the school she weighed 105 pounds at the age of 11. After a year, she was only 94. Her grades didn't improve, but her social status climbed. She'd become an envy of her peers and she felt loved for what she was. But she still felt like a outcast to her family. She went home at the end of term, and returned to the household that hated her. Everyone was trying to make her fat, everyone was trying to make her feel bad about herself. But it wasn't going to work, because that little girl was hardened to them, now. And she'd been taught much about life at school. Her mental state deteriorated over the Summer until she was an unconsolable mess, but she never saw it that way. She'd learned to hide her self-harm by cutting her thighs, and learned at the fragile age of 12 that she could hide her eating disorder. Everything was simple, a game, something she could toy with. She never knew there would be side effects. When she returned to boarding school in the September, she'd lost many of her friends. Meanwhile her social status remained untouched, she still felt like a stray sheep. Two years passed of the same dull cycle, but it never bothered her, the repeated cycle of binge-purge-cut-sleep. Nobody questioned her weight loss or refusal to wear a swim-suit. On her fifteenth birthday, however, things changed. She woke up, delighted, looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful, slender girl who only weight 70 pounds. That day, she passed out and was rushed to hospital. She didn't wake up for a day, and when she did, she was greeted by her father who'd flown from America, and her aunt and uncle. Her room was flooded with flowers and get well cards. It was then that she'd realised she wasn't alone. Her frail body had been put on a drip and she broke her wrist that day. But only some of it sank in. The rehab sessions she attended were useless, and she only stopped self-harming. She gained weight but it constantly fluctuated between eighty pounds and ninety, but she was still released back into school. A year later, she had a terrifying touch with death. Kristin realised she couldn't keep starving herself, and on that day she pledged to get better. At the time of writing, I weigh ninety-four pounds and I'm five foot four, and I'm proud to say "I bet self-harm" but I'm still on the road from my eating disorder! Let this be a notice that, if any of ya'll dealing with what I am. then I'm here!!! And that there's always gonna be a turning point in your life where you'll regret anything youre doing to yourself. I am currently studying Army Preperations and Game Development at one of England's top colleges, and two years ago I was on my death bed<3 Remember, theres always a better way! Call 08457 90 90 90 in the UK if you need confidential support. Category:Bios